Ok, what I am about to write going to purely flow from my mind as I write and is not edited or formed up in any kind of way. Hopefully just spewing this out will help me shape it for the future. This will be a part of a drama that I may turn into a 10-minute play and is a follow-up to the last post :). I think I may also be starting mid-conversation to help me get the flow of it.
Scene: An office building. Guy's office. Night. The glass windows of his office are shuttered. Rachel (a co-worker) sits on the arm of the chair in front of his desk. Guy sits back in his chair behind the desk sipping black coffee. (Note: if this coffee were to be spilled it would strictly need to be black - he drinks it no other way.) The door to the office is closed.
GUY: Your buttons are . . . misaligned.
RACHEL: Yeah, I know, I like it like that.
*Guy coughs*
GUY: So Rachel . . . if you were going to kill someone, how would you do it?
RACHEL: Why would I even be thinking about that?
GUY: I'm sure at one time or another you've been angry enough to . . . kill someone. Or at least thought about it. So how would you do it?
RACHEL: Um, well . . . I suppose I'd do it like in the movies! Hack 'em into a bunch of pieces and bury them in the walls! Ooooo! . . . (Guy stares at her) Are you serious?!
GUY: Sure, why not. If we're just talking about it.
RACHEL: I guess . . . (long silence) . . . how about poisoning them? Like in their drink or something. Then you don't have a finger pointing at you.
GUY: Yes, yes. That's not bad. Clean. No one to blame.
RACHEL: Why do you want to talk about this anyway?
GUY: I'm curious. I find it fascinating the lengths that some people will go to kill someone . . . when it can be a relatively simple thing.
RACHEL: I don't think killing anybody is simple.
GUY: Just - you're thinking about it the wrong way. You have to look at the situation from a distance and observe it with a clear mind. When you break it down, it really can be quite simple. Killing.
(WARNING: spoiler ahead, I'm jumping to this because this part of the dialogue popped into my head.)
*GUY moves toward the office door and locks it quietly*
GUY: What time is it?
RACHEL: 9:06 . . .
GUY: That means that the last person to clock out would have done so 6 minutes ago . . . excluding you and I, of course.
RACHEL: Well, then, I guess that means we better leave - *she stands and grabs her coat*
GUY: Wait.
*Guy moves to his office closet and pulls out a clear plastic object that looks like some body suit.*
GUY: This is a clothing protector - used sometimes by painters so they don't get paint on their clothes.
*He puts in on over his suit*
GUY: How does it look?
RACHEL: Dandy. If there's nothing else I'd like to -
GUY: (interrupting) There was something you said earlier, about hacking someone to pieces and hiding them in the walls. While that does seem a bit carried away, I do like the knife method. I have a cleaver in my drawer. Suppose I kill you with it, right now? Or maybe strangle you with your own coat?
RACHEL: (laughing uncertainly) Ok, now you're scaring me. Can you open the door so I can leave?
GUY: It would probably be best if you don't scream . . . though it might be entertaining.
*Guy opens the drawer and pulls out a butcher's cleaver*
GUY: I'll try not to make a mess.
*Lights fade to black
THE END
Well, there are some pieces of my drama! And the ending as well. Hope you found it . . . interesting :).
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Here are some questions and/or thoughts while I've been reading this (you don't need to respond to them):
ReplyDelete1. Are her buttons misaligned because they just had sex in the office?
2. The reference to putting a dead body in the walls is a nice allusion to Poe. I would consider mentioning his name -- or not.
3. I like the subtle power message you're sending by having it be HIS office. It has interesting sexist overtones for his character.
4. I think the biggest challenge you might have is making it subtle enough to knock the socks off the audience that he's serious about the murder. How do you plan on integrating the murder talk into the normal conversation, and what else do they talk about?
5. Why is she in his office? What does she want?
6. Are you setting it up as a comedy that goes suddenly dark, or do you want it to have dark overtones throughout?
I agree with Scott's 4th point. I saw the murder happen though I had no idea why he wanted to kill her which I am assuming will come out in the middle of the scene? I like the dialogue of Guy. I imagine him talking in a low even tone the entire scene. Pulling out a butcher's knife seems comical to me. Like he is overdoing it. Guy would have a real knife in my opinion since it sounds like he has been planning this. Maybe a jewel in the handle since he sounds like he likes to be mysterious. Haha. For some reason I was imagining hin with an eye patch. weird. Are they performing any actions in this scene besides chatting? That may add some length for you.
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